SAY YAS!


tow kay

name: Md Yasin
d.o.b: 17th November
school: Raffles College
course: Advance Diploma in Tourism and Hospitality Management
in-take: July 2007
enjoys: cycling and swimming
talkcocksingsong

11:19 pm, Tuesday, October 30, 2007

someone asked me (some time ago), "why are you not telling me your secrets anymore?"
why the hell should I? i can't trust you anymore. i tell you, the next thing i know, you'll be telling someone else, especially my mum. it's not once or twice but more than that. have you not realised that i had never told anyone your secrets, including those intimate ones?

each time you have something that you dislike about me, can you please tell me directly? why do you have to go through dad every single time? whenver he comes back from overseas, he'll be saying, "i heard ... that you are bla bla bla". it's like everytime he comes back home, he'll be receiving negative comments about me. i do agree that i can be unreasonable at times but i do have my flaws. at the very least, you could tell me when i'm in a good mood. has dad ever approach you and say, "yasin told me that ...." (negative remarks)? no right. have i ever spread your secrets to anyone, be it family or non-family members? no right.

i might have shame you in the past but that happened when i was like 12 or 13 years old? but what you're doing now, at your age, don't you think you could be more mature? is it pleasure that you get from those sacarstic comments you give me? i thought family members are suppose to stand for each other.

no one here is highlighting my mistakes. they're more interested in talking behind my back and hurting my feelings. since i joined hartford, they said i changed alot. yes, i did changed. i might be less open with my family members, for certain reasons that i felt was necessary. in terms of spenditure, i'm sorry but i can be spendtrift at times. i'm trying to discipline myself now. for now, there isn't anyone at home whom i could talk comfortably with. i can't be telling my mum my secrets, you crazy? don't come talking about my dad. my younger sister? well, she's too young to understand. my elder sister, "?".

i really envy the moment when we, as a family, go out for dinner. my mum and sisters would be talking about passer-bys. my dad would (most of the time) be on the phone. i'll be busy enjoying my food. the best part is when everyone exchange their jokes or riddles. that's when i really feel we're one complete family. my mind would be clear of negative thoughts about any of my family members. nowadays, we rarely go out as a family to have dinner or shopping. i'm busy with school. my dad is busy travelling.

the only time that i feel happy is when i'm in school. no that i'm excited with studies but i won't think about the fights or negative thoughts about any of my family members. that would really reduce the risk of me hating them. but well, i can never hate someone. i tend to forgive and forget easily. haha.

don't get me wrong. i don't hate my family. i really do love them, my mum, my dad, my 2 sisters. it's just that, like i said, i have no one else to turn to. ranting here is my only option.